The 14-year-old theory

“Have I told you my theory on why life is so tough?” We’re told constantly that we need to be more mature, and yet biologically, we tend to hit our peak within our teen years, just as puberty is coming to an end: no major stressors, but technically an adult… So the theory is this:…

Differences Between Kinks and Fetishes.

I talk a lot about fetishes and kinks on Hetaera. A lot of people have approached me over the years questioning if their particular fantasies are “normal” especially when they are typically seen as being “weird”. But what is normal? Let’s start by defining fetishism and kink: — The World Health Organisation defines “fetishism” as:…

Dissecting relationships

-Re-examining an old blog post, May 5, 2013 So back in 2013, a partner of mine asked me the rhetorical question ‘where is the boundary that differentiates relationships from friendships?’ Three and a half years later, I am sat using a fantastic polyamory specific visual representation of relationships, and once again, I am wondering where the…

Anxiety: death by a thousand paper cuts.

Anxiety sucks: It’s like the feeling of every mistake you’ve ever made having turned into a scarab beetle which is now crawling around under your skin, eating away at your insides, while depression is the feeling of having already been eaten. There is a massive overlap (“Nearly one-half of those diagnosed with depression are also…

Condoms: Reinventing the wheel.

You all know that I’m a slut by now; I have a draw filled with condoms; standard, flavoured, textured, female condoms and dental dams, Well recently, Lelo released a new product; a condom called the Lelo hex. Inspired by nature (graphene and bee hives), it uses hexagonal supports on the inside of the condom to provide…

How to have more casual sex

The difference in interest for casual sex is negligible. Clark and Hatfield had one pretty major flaw in their study.

Communication Skills

Be prepared to explain why you need it, why you feel you should get it, but step 1 is “I have this need.”