Fight and flight.

There are many points in my life where I have felt backed into a corner over something, where that fight or flight feeling kicks in. I have always tried to take it, and just move on to the next thing, but what happens when neither are a viable option?  When your opponent is higher up…

The DSM

The new DSM specifies that in order for an atypical sexual behavior to be classified as a mental condition, a person must: 1. Feel personal distress about their interest, not merely distress resulting from society’s disapproval; or 2. have a sexual desire or behavior that involves another person’s psychological distress, injury, or death, or a…

What we know vs what we need to know

Did you know that there are seven different kinds of intelligence? Linguistic—good with words Mathematical—good at numbers Musical—good with rhythm and sound Visual-Spatial—good at thinking in three dimensions Bodily-Kinesthetic—good at physical activity Intrapersonal—good at understanding oneself Interpersonal—good at interacting with other people The problem with conventional education is that most schools only teach the first…

Standard deviation from the norm.

Within most relationships, there is an inherent ‘standard creepiness threshold’, a line below which you don’t date, lest you be seen as a creepy creep. This line is plus or minus (your age minus (half your age plus seven)), so for instance, a twenty year old should typically not date below 17 nor above 23….

Survey results!

Ok, two weeks ago, I started a campaign to ask about the proposed subscription box and the results are in! Of those who had a look, 57% are women, 42% are men and at least one of us resents facebook’s binary views. 65% are between 18 and 24 16% said they would not be interested…

Staying on task

“Have you ever been overwhelmed by a task, by which I mean you find yourself looking at the big picture of a goal you are trying to achieve and it has ground you off track? How do you solve this? Have you ever succumbed to the pressure, resulting in a ‘this is a good day…

Headwinds and Tailwinds.

We all have days where we believe that the deck is stacked against us. This is why rich people will tell you ‘money doesn’t bring happiness’

LDRs part 2

So, continuing on from where we left off in part 1; having frequent visits can be refreshing and can strengthen the bonds between you. More important than the quantity of visits are the traits of regularity and quality. Knowing that you’re going to see each other once a month can make it a lot easier…

Going the distance with LDRs – Part 1

So the poly community has a large number of long distance relationships. It’s hardly surprising when you take into account that our dating pool is a specific subset of the norm and that we are open to more long distance relationships when we know that we and our loves are free to see other people….

It has been a while

So, I’ve been working hard with the day job and on a few other projects related to Polyamory Activism. It’s been taking it’s toll. Not just on me but on my ability to keep up with generating new content for Hetaera. As a result I am making a concerted effort to double down and really…

Holiday round up.

So the holidays are over… And as with every year, the non-traditional have felt the struggle of doing traditional family celebration things. From those of you who came out to family to those of you who were alone because people had all primaried up, here are a few resources that can help you come to…

Being Super

“There are two types of people on planet Earth, Batman and Iron Man. Batman has a secret identity, right? So Bruce Wayne has to walk around every second of every day knowing that if somebody finds out his secret, his family is dead, his friends are dead, everyone he loves gets tortured to death by…