Staying on task

“Have you ever been overwhelmed by a task, by which I mean you find yourself looking at the big picture of a goal you are trying to achieve and it has ground you off track? How do you solve this? Have you ever succumbed to the pressure, resulting in a ‘this is a good day…

Headwinds and Tailwinds.

We all have days where we believe that the deck is stacked against us. This is why rich people will tell you ‘money doesn’t bring happiness’

LDRs part 2

So, continuing on from where we left off in part 1; having frequent visits can be refreshing and can strengthen the bonds between you. More important than the quantity of visits are the traits of regularity and quality. Knowing that you’re going to see each other once a month can make it a lot easier…

Going the distance with LDRs – Part 1

So the poly community has a large number of long distance relationships. It’s hardly surprising when you take into account that our dating pool is a specific subset of the norm and that we are open to more long distance relationships when we know that we and our loves are free to see other people….

It has been a while

So, I’ve been working hard with the day job and on a few other projects related to Polyamory Activism. It’s been taking it’s toll. Not just on me but on my ability to keep up with generating new content for Hetaera. As a result I am making a concerted effort to double down and really…

Holiday round up.

So the holidays are over… And as with every year, the non-traditional have felt the struggle of doing traditional family celebration things. From those of you who came out to family to those of you who were alone because people had all primaried up, here are a few resources that can help you come to…

Being Super

“There are two types of people on planet Earth, Batman and Iron Man. Batman has a secret identity, right? So Bruce Wayne has to walk around every second of every day knowing that if somebody finds out his secret, his family is dead, his friends are dead, everyone he loves gets tortured to death by…

Shibari

Shibari, commonly referred to as Kinbaku (though there are some differences between the two disciplines), is an ancient Japanese artistic form of rope bondage that has many styles and uses. In Shibari (the action of tying someone up) the rigger, (or as I will be referring to them: rope spider) creates almost geometric patterns and…

Differences Between Kinks and Fetishes.

I talk a lot about fetishes and kinks on Hetaera. A lot of people have approached me over the years questioning if their particular fantasies are “normal” especially when they are typically seen as being “weird”. But what is normal? Let’s start by defining fetishism and kink: — The World Health Organisation defines “fetishism” as:…

PSA: Octomas

Happy 1st of Octomas! The new 5 day holiday from 20th-24th October (which just so happens to cover the week of my birthday.) For all twue believers from the Church of Unified Light Transition, you will be familiar with the concept, but for all those I have yet to incorporate into the totally real system…

Dissecting relationships

-Re-examining an old blog post, May 5, 2013 So back in 2013, a partner of mine asked me the rhetorical question ‘where is the boundary that differentiates relationships from friendships?’ Three and a half years later, I am sat using a fantastic polyamory specific visual representation of relationships, and once again, I am wondering where the…