“Have I told you my theory on why life is so tough?” We’re told constantly that we need to be more mature, and yet biologically, we tend to hit our peak within our teen years, just as puberty is coming to an end: no major stressors, but technically an adult… So the theory is this:…
Category: Advice
Hot sex is just the worst.
Ten reasons why it’s too hot for hot sex
Headwinds and Tailwinds.
We all have days where we believe that the deck is stacked against us. This is why rich people will tell you ‘money doesn’t bring happiness’
Being Super
“There are two types of people on planet Earth, Batman and Iron Man. Batman has a secret identity, right? So Bruce Wayne has to walk around every second of every day knowing that if somebody finds out his secret, his family is dead, his friends are dead, everyone he loves gets tortured to death by…
Shibari
Shibari, commonly referred to as Kinbaku (though there are some differences between the two disciplines), is an ancient Japanese artistic form of rope bondage that has many styles and uses. In Shibari (the action of tying someone up) the rigger, (or as I will be referring to them: rope spider) creates almost geometric patterns and…
Differences Between Kinks and Fetishes.
I talk a lot about fetishes and kinks on Hetaera. A lot of people have approached me over the years questioning if their particular fantasies are “normal” especially when they are typically seen as being “weird”. But what is normal? Let’s start by defining fetishism and kink: — The World Health Organisation defines “fetishism” as:…
Dissecting relationships
-Re-examining an old blog post, May 5, 2013 So back in 2013, a partner of mine asked me the rhetorical question ‘where is the boundary that differentiates relationships from friendships?’ Three and a half years later, I am sat using a fantastic polyamory specific visual representation of relationships, and once again, I am wondering where the…
Anxiety: death by a thousand paper cuts.
Anxiety sucks: It’s like the feeling of every mistake you’ve ever made having turned into a scarab beetle which is now crawling around under your skin, eating away at your insides, while depression is the feeling of having already been eaten. There is a massive overlap (“Nearly one-half of those diagnosed with depression are also…
Condoms: Reinventing the wheel.
You all know that I’m a slut by now; I have a draw filled with condoms; standard, flavoured, textured, female condoms and dental dams, Well recently, Lelo released a new product; a condom called the Lelo hex. Inspired by nature (graphene and bee hives), it uses hexagonal supports on the inside of the condom to provide…
5 Signs you may be polyamorous
5 signs you may be polyamorous Nita, the head organiser of Polyday suggested during our recording of the last podcast episode that I write a piece called ‘ten signs that you may be polyamorous.’ Well I don’t necessarily have ten points which I can put here, but I do have five common traits which I…
Why community leaders sometimes break consent
Risk and idiocy in the kink sceneThink about the last interaction where someone was annoying as hell and you struggled to have a conversation in a civil manner, had to choke back on raising your voice. Think about the last time you heard a story about a community leader who broke consent. Think about the…
Episode 3: BDSM bags and fuckboys
“Don’t be a fuckboy, Don’t, Don’t be a fuckboy, Do-oh-oh-on’t be a fuck boyyyyy…”
Hetaera - for Class, Quality and Connection. 