Ask the team: Edging vs edge play

Response by LaRasa.

Hermes asks: “What’s the difference between edgeplay and edging?”


Well I will tackle Edgeplay first as it is the larger part of the two pieces…

Edgeplay is often thought of as being a term covering anything which challenges the standard ‘Safe, Sane and Consentual’ (SSC) mindset, instead relying on ‘Risk Aware Consensual Kink’ (RACK)

It should be noted that edgeplay *can* involve a higher potential for harm or disease transmission.

The reason that it is such a subjective term though is that the phrase comes from ‘the edge of your comfort zone’. For some people, that is going to be flogging, while for others it’s flogging with metal tipped tails, for some it’s breathplay, for some it’s getting naked in a play dungeon and for some it’s attending a munch.


One of the best ways I have found to look at edgeplay is that it is a play style by which to know your own limits & limitations. It is sometimes thought that edgeplay is something which can only push the limits of the sub or bottom in a scene, but the truth is that it can be pushing the top’s limits.

Take myself for instance: manly man that I am (I swear, it happened once), I have always been a little squeamish when it comes to needles. Years of painful experiences in my childhood means that I have never liked the feel of them, and have always connected them with negative thoughts and experiences.

Going for my quarterly STD screening (yep: every three months) I still have to look away when they are taking my blood, even though this is every three months for the past five years!

However, for xmas I bought myself a needleplay set. For me, that is edgeplay, but for Vipera and Nekomi? They have plenty of prior experience with it, so potentially not so much.


When first coming onto the scene, many previously vanilla people come in with a feeling of apprehension: I have known people with pages and pages of hard limits ranging from relatively innocuous through to the more hardcore that anyone without a few years of experience would be a bit wary of.

The only way this booklet of limits becomes a list of a few strict ‘nope’-s is through experimentation and personal growth.

Only by pushing your own boundaries (make sure you read that carefuly), can you hope to expand your horizons and start to enjoy new things.


First and foremost: edgeplay is a very personal thing, make sure that you are pushing your own boundaries and that it’s because you want to do so.

Secondly, remember that you are entitled to your safewords. I have seen some adverts for edgeplayers which read something like “You won’t have safewords, you will be subjected to torture and humiliation as I see fit…” these people are not edge players, they are sociopaths with lifetime subscriptions to torture porn websites.

Thirdly: negotiate your scenes beforehand in a neutral environment. If at any point you are worried that the other party is not going to be taking your needs, wants and your hard limits into account, then you are well within your rights to walk away.

Lastly: this is RACK: be aware of the risks, do some research and go into it with a theoretical understanding of what you will be encountering.


In comparison, edging is a lot less about pushing your boundaries:

Edging is the act of coming very close to climax or ejaculation, then deliberately stopping sexual stimulation in order to delay the same.

This can serve two purposes: firstly, the final climax will be more intense when it finaly comes (pun intended) and it can be used to frustrate the… ‘victim’?

It can be performed solo through masturbation, or with partners. As with all things though, this is a matter of personal tastes: I personally am not a fan unless I am inflicting this on someone else.

note: it can backfire! Some people who are not allowed to climax actually lose their drive completely and you have to start over.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s